Well I just looked at my blog and realized that I have hit 50 posts! Fifty posts about silly little things. I guess it's the silver anniversary of The Whiner.

It's funny, I have always enjoyed writing. I don't think I am clever enough to do it for a living, although I wouldn't mind giving it a go. I mean, if people like Jenny McCarthy can get books published...well, I'd like to think I am a little smarter than she is (if not nearly as "hot").

I often think of people and their talents. Some people are amazingly creative, some are gifted in athletics, some are great with facts and figures, and others are musically talented. There are way too many different talents to list. I often moan and groan that teaching was a poor career choice. I suppose I am good with children to an extent, but I find as I grow older I have less and less patience. I am good with a couple at a time, but a whole room full...well, it's not as appealing as it once was. I often lament that I should have been a plumber or an electrician, even though I have no interest in these areas. However, these professionals are always needed, and they make good money. I know, since I have to pay them to do any work I need.

I also often think what I would have been really bad at. I know that sentence is not grammatically correct, but I can't figure out how to say it any other way. Here are a few examples:

I would have been a very bad saint. If a group of Romans came up to me in the early years of Christianity I don't think I would have stood up for the faith. "What's that you say? Denounce my belief in Jesus or you'll tie me to that pole and burn me alive?" I am ashamed to say it, but I think my answer would have been "Jesus who?"

I would have been a very poor pioneer, and I don't mean financially. If my husband came home one afternoon after hunting rabbits and asked me to move from my cozy log cabin in Wisconsin to the flat lands of Kansas territory, which was filled with angry Indians at the time, I think my answer would have been a resounding "NO". "I"m sorry, but I am SO NOT getting in that godforsaken wagon and traveling 200 miles to the middle of friggin' nowhere. This place is bad enough as it is."

I don't think I would have been a good plantation girl. As much as I love Gone with the Wind, and think Scarlett O'Hara is a scream, there is no way anyone would have stuffed me into those corsets and huge hoop skirts in that southern heat. Not to mention that I would have had a real problem with owning slaves. I don't care what anyone says about "Well everyone did it and it was just a part of the times." Everyone, even back then, knew that owning another human being was wrong. Fiddle dee dee...

Now here are some things I might have excelled at:

I would have been a good bootlegger or speakeasy girl during Prohibition. I don't know who's idea that ever was, but it was a dumb idea. I like my drinkee poos now and I would have liked them then; I don't think the law would have gotten in my way.

I would have been one of those Rosie the Riveter girls. Husband stuck in WWII? Me at home, in a frumpy Donna Reed frock? Snoozers! I would have stuck a cigarette in my mouth and been on that assembly line in no time.

I think I would have been a really good hippie. I was born in the summer of love, much too young to enjoy the revelry that was going on at the time. Having lived in San Francisco for 8 years, I know I would have loved that time. I am somewhat of a rebel and probably would have enjoyed the protests just for the sake of the argument.

I also wonder if I could have been a doctor. I was immature when I went to college and never took any of it very seriously. Now that I am older I wish I had realized that a college education was a gift (Thanks Mom and Dad) and I should have thought more seriously about a career choice. Oh well. If i had been a doctor it would have been the research type. I think I could make it through med school, but I would never make it through residency and staying up for 36 hours at a time. I like my sleep. Plus I don't really like touching icky people. But...i could do research...

Anyway, whatever our talents, it's important that we use them for good purposes. And so I shall take my talent for tasting fine wine and head downstairs for a good nap.

"Hello, Is There an Expert in the House?"

Since I am a stay-at-home Mom I have a little routine I follow. After putting Ava on the bus I have my breakfast and coffee, while I catch up on email and Facebook, and do a few other computer chores. I do this for about an hour before I start my "housework." I use this term loosely as I am the world's worst housekeeper, although I almost always cook (I have my priorities).

In any event, I often turn on the Today show while I do my computer thing, since I like to see the weather report and occasionally get a good piece of information. I have noticed that the Today show, along with all the other morning shows, has their resident "experts" in various fields, such as finance, nutrition, and medicine. Every few days, these experts come on with some tidbits of advice. Part of the segment is a piece where people either call, email, or web cam in their questions. I find this amusing.

Last week the stick-like nutrition expert was on. She's always got lots of tips on eating whole grains, saving your one glass of wine a week for a party, and having just a bite of cake. Whatever. This woman, who appeared to be about 30, web cams in her questions which was: "Many of the recipes I have make such large portions. I am single and the leftovers often go to waste. What should I do? Stickly's "expert advice was to "make the whole recipe, and freeze the rest in single-serving portions." Now wait a minute. The caller couldn't figure that out for herself? She got to the age of 30 and never thought of freezing the leftovers? And then the expert advice is to use the freezer? I could have told anyone that!

Another web cam caller phoned into the financial expert. Her question was: "We need a bigger house, but we owe more on our house that it's worth. Is there some sort of program that would allow us to roll the amount we owe on our mortgage (that is above the home's value) into a new mortgage on a new house?" Gee there's a swell idea! You're already in over your head so why not get yourself in even deeper? The finance lady told her "There is no such program (I could tell she wanted to add "you dumb ass"). she continued, "Your best bet is to stick it out in your current house and save some cash to pay down your debt before you buy another house." Wow how smart! Again I could have told her that too. I need, or rather want, a bigger house, but I can't afford it so I won't buy one yet.

I'm not sure how people got so dumb. I am not sure where they learned their life skills. Most of the questions they ask can be answered with simple common sense, something many people seem to lack. They rely on so-called experts, who are likely drawing big salaries for dispensing information that is, again, just basic common sense.

Perhaps I should market myself as an expert in something...I think maybe Housework Avoidance, as this seems to be my area of strength. Call me anytime!