10, 9, 8, 7, 6...

I cannot believe we have come to the end of another year. I can't complain too much about 2009....well, I could if I thought about it, but on the whole, it wasn't bad. My daughter turned 6, Malcolm and I celebrated 10 years of marriage, my brother got engaged, and I'm sure I had a lot of fun. There were a few Ava surgeries and emergencies thrown in, but that's par for the course. We still have jobs, a roof over our heads, warm clothes, and plenty to eat.

It's New Year's Eve and Malcolm is cooking up some filet mignon for dinner. Ava is watching a show, waiting for dinner and maybe a little"family party." New Year's Eve is a funny holiday. When we were kids we were allowed to stay up late, a very big deal. I recall a time when we'd go over to my Aunt Lou and Uncle Ralph's apartment in Brooklyn to ring in the New Year. I can't remember how old I was, but I remember gathering with family in their tiny livingroom. I think their neighbors used to come in too, although I wouldn't remember their names, or them, if I tried.

I also remember - and I don't recall if this was before or after the "Aunt Lou years"- that we would stay up late with my parents and play board games. One of our favorites was Sorry, a game immortalized in the Eunice and Mama sketch of the Carol Burnett Show. I know none of us kids liked losing, and I know would tease my brothers if they did. This was one advantage of being the oldest. I remember we'd count down to the New Year with Dick Clark on the TV and my parents would have champagne and we could have a taste. Staying up so late was a fine thing indeed and remember New Year's Eve as one of the few times we celebrated with just our family of five.

Then there was New Year's Day. We always had a big dinner at my maternal grandparent's house. (Italians will take any excuse to have a big family dinner, and this seemed a great way to end the holiday season.) My Grandma would always make a dish we called "Bracciolles in the Brown Gravy." I do not believe this is its formal name, but that's what we called it. I think it was a German recipe from "Mrs. Menkel" the mother of Betty Menkel, who was the wife of Mike Sasso, a good friend of my grandparents.

(Side note: We always referred to Betty Menkel as Betty Menkel, even after she became Betty Sasso. This may have been because there were other Betty's in our family, but she also looked more like a Menkel than a Sasso. She had light hair, light skin, and she wore red lipstick; she was very pretty and well dressed. In any event, she and Mike Sasso spent Christmas with our family for many years. We were just talking about her the other day and sure enough we called her Betty Menkel. Some traditions never die.)

Anyway, this dish was basically beef rolls stuffed with garlic and parsley and cooked in a brown sauce as opposed to the "red gravy" we ate with our pasta every week. It was very good, but I do not know if the recipe died with my grandmother and Mrs. Menkel. I must ask my mother.
By the end we were all stuffed, as always, and thoughts of going back to school loomed in my head, as I am sure thoughts of returning to work loomed in everyone else's heads.

Time changes things and the New Year's dinner went by the way side many years ago. As we grandkids got older and started going out on our own for New Year's, we were too hungover to even think about going anywhere the next day.

And now, as 2010 approaches, I am happy to stay at home this evening. We were invited to a party, but we don't have a nurse for Ava. Our friends were kind enough to invite her, but it snowed today and we are just not up for clearing out the driveway and going out. I like being home. It's warm and there's a good meal, and maybe we'll even play some board games. I wonder if I'll see midnight...most years I don't. But 2010 will be here just the same tomorrow, and I hope that it brings everyone much joy, love and happiness. Happy New Year!

Why?

I often find myself thinking "Why?" You might think I am referring to my daughter and why she was born with so many challenges. Well, I do think that, sometimes, but not nearly as often as you might think. Ava is just Ava, and as much as I hate the constant worrying, the trips to the ER, the battles, and the surgeries, this is not my greatest wonder.

More often I find myself thinking...Why:

1. ...has reality TV become successful? How can anyone sit and watch much of the trash that passes for entertainment these days? And just when I think it can't get any worse, it does. We now have shows called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant? (HOW DUMB ARE YOU?), Toddlers and Tiaras (about little girls who are made up and paraded around like tramps at kiddie beauty pageants), and 19 Kids and Counting (self-explanatory). I know of these shows only because the ads for them are blasted during commercials at decibels loud enough to wake the dead. There is also a very funny show called The Soup, which complies all this trash into little blurbs, then mocks them for how ridiculous they are. I love The Soup.

2. ....do people like Jon and Kate Gosselin - obviously self-absorbed morons - gets tons of money for being idiots, while the rest of us have to work for a living?

3. ...does every child in America think they are entitled to a designer bedroom? Ava likes this terrible show called Trading Spaces; Boys vs Girls. It's about two kids who get to have their "dream bedroom" designed and paid for by this stupid show. If it was going to needy kids then maybe I could see the point. But most of the kids who are "chosen" are anything but needy and their parents could afford to re-do their bedrooms if such a thing was warranted. This show celebrates everything I hate: bratty kids, excess, greed, and getting something simply because you want it and whine loudly enough for it. All the kids on the show complain that their "bedroom is sooooo boring and uncool." Yeah well, so what? Neither of my parents had their own bedroom, and my brothers didn't either. Now, I did, but I was the only girl. And I am sure I whined about my room, but I never expected anyone to actually do anything about it....much less call in a design team from a TV show. Ugh.

4.....do people like Tiger Woods, David Letterman, etc. etc. cheat on their wives? Hello???? You are a millionaire, successful beyond anyone's wildest dreams, have any material good you could want, your wife is beautiful, your kids are healthy...and...IT'S STILL NOT ENOUGH????? Don't even get me started.

Well, I wonder about a lot more things, but I am keeping this short.