"Hello, Is There an Expert in the House?"

Since I am a stay-at-home Mom I have a little routine I follow. After putting Ava on the bus I have my breakfast and coffee, while I catch up on email and Facebook, and do a few other computer chores. I do this for about an hour before I start my "housework." I use this term loosely as I am the world's worst housekeeper, although I almost always cook (I have my priorities).

In any event, I often turn on the Today show while I do my computer thing, since I like to see the weather report and occasionally get a good piece of information. I have noticed that the Today show, along with all the other morning shows, has their resident "experts" in various fields, such as finance, nutrition, and medicine. Every few days, these experts come on with some tidbits of advice. Part of the segment is a piece where people either call, email, or web cam in their questions. I find this amusing.

Last week the stick-like nutrition expert was on. She's always got lots of tips on eating whole grains, saving your one glass of wine a week for a party, and having just a bite of cake. Whatever. This woman, who appeared to be about 30, web cams in her questions which was: "Many of the recipes I have make such large portions. I am single and the leftovers often go to waste. What should I do? Stickly's "expert advice was to "make the whole recipe, and freeze the rest in single-serving portions." Now wait a minute. The caller couldn't figure that out for herself? She got to the age of 30 and never thought of freezing the leftovers? And then the expert advice is to use the freezer? I could have told anyone that!

Another web cam caller phoned into the financial expert. Her question was: "We need a bigger house, but we owe more on our house that it's worth. Is there some sort of program that would allow us to roll the amount we owe on our mortgage (that is above the home's value) into a new mortgage on a new house?" Gee there's a swell idea! You're already in over your head so why not get yourself in even deeper? The finance lady told her "There is no such program (I could tell she wanted to add "you dumb ass"). she continued, "Your best bet is to stick it out in your current house and save some cash to pay down your debt before you buy another house." Wow how smart! Again I could have told her that too. I need, or rather want, a bigger house, but I can't afford it so I won't buy one yet.

I'm not sure how people got so dumb. I am not sure where they learned their life skills. Most of the questions they ask can be answered with simple common sense, something many people seem to lack. They rely on so-called experts, who are likely drawing big salaries for dispensing information that is, again, just basic common sense.

Perhaps I should market myself as an expert in something...I think maybe Housework Avoidance, as this seems to be my area of strength. Call me anytime!