Like Father, Like Mother, Like Daughter

My father writes a couple of blogs: One is about his childhood in Brooklyn, and the other is about various subjects. Many of his posts are about things that annoy him, much as most of my posts are about things that annoy me. You may see a pattern here.

I often look at my parents and try to figure out how I am like each one. With my father it's pretty easy: We both hate the same types of annoying things. For example, when the person in front of you at the grocery store insists that cat food is $10 for a dollar, when she is really reading the wrong sign; a person driving in the left lane at 40 mph; people who think rules don't apply to them; traffic jams; seat belts; line-cutters; loud-talkers; braggers; and A-holes. We also have similar talents: both of us like reading and writing, but hate math. We are also pretty good at art. My temperament and basic personality are very much like my father's.

My mother is more complicated. I look like her, which is a compliment. I remember when I was a kid, all the girls would say that I had a pretty Mom. I was always proud of that (still am). I have many of her mannerisms...we drink our coffee the same way, as well as our wine. We like similar clothing. We like many of the same TV shows.

However, my mother has the cleanest house in the United States. I wish I had inherited some of this cleanliness gene (and so does my husband), since I do NOT have the cleanest house in the United States. Mind you, I am tidy...I hate clutter, chachkis, dust collectors, and anything that makes things look crowded. But basically, I also hate cleaning, laundry, and any form of housework except cooking. This is a problem.

My mother also has more energy than anyone I know. She always says she can't sit still. I have the opposite problem...I love sitting still. In fact, I can sit still for a very long time and watch the TV (wine and snacks help this tremendously). A little nap while sitting still is wonderful. Mom gets up at the crack of dawn and goes to bed early. I get up as late as is possible with a 6-year old and also go to bed early if I can (except if there's a good party). Add this to the hatred of housework, and that makes for one lousy housewife. My mother is a great homemaker (not to mention good at math). Oh well.

I think I'm a pretty good parent, and this I got from both of my parents. I always felt loved growing up and always loved family time, even when I complained about it endlessly as a teenager. I also loved being with my siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, all people who have had a tremendous impact on my life.

It's always been debated whether nature or nurture makes us who we are; it seems to me, it's a little of both. I guess we are who we are...and despite a few tweaks I'd make here and there, I guess I am happy with who I am.

Noooooooooooo

STAMFORD, Conn. — The family of a woman mauled by a chimpanzee filed a lawsuit seeking $50 million in damages against the primate's owner, saying she was negligent and reckless for lacking the ability to control "a wild animal with violent propensities."
Attorneys for Charla Nash, who remains in critical condition, filed the lawsuit against Sandra Herold late Monday in Superior Court in Stamford.
The suit also alleges that Herold had given the chimp medication that further upset the animal. Herold has made conflicting public statements about whether she gave Xanax, an anti-anxiety drug, to Travis on the day of the attack. The drug had not been prescribed for the animal, police said.
Herold knew the 200-pound chimp, Travis, was agitated when she asked Nash to come to her house on Feb. 16, the lawsuit said. The suit accuses Herold of negligence and recklessness for owning "a wild animal with violent propensities, even though she lacked sufficient skill, strength and/or experience to subdue the chimpanzee when necessary."

Now here's a surprise...a woman mauled by some lunatic's pet chimp is suing for 50 million bucks. We all knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. However, in this case, I actually agree with this lawsuit. Many lawsuits filed these days are just plain stupid. People suing fast food chains because they're fat, prisoners suing for better shoes, people claiming they didn't know smoking was bad for them. All nonsense.

However, this woman who was attacked has lost various portions of her face, and her hands, because some fool decided to keep a chimp as a pet. Let's take a look at this situation, shall we?

1. Before we go any further, anyone who lives with a chimp is (all together now)...CRA-zy!

2. The chimp's owner lost her husband and her daughter within a few years and was obviously distraught. Perhaps a friend or relative could have suggested counseling or medication as an alternative to starting a zoo.

3. Perhaps a cat or dog...or another domesticated animal...would have made a better pet.

4. This woman ate and slept (EuWWWWW) with the chimp. Nuff said.

5. Wild animals do not belong in people's homes. This goes for anyone who owns a chimp, snake any bigger than a yardstick, ferrets, marmosets, kangaroos, or any other stupid thing people think of adopting.

6. Giving Xanax to a chimp is almost always a bad idea...unless he is seeing a psychiatrist.

7. A chimp is a wild animal, not a human being. This poor animal was killed because it did what an animal would do, not what a human would do. I am sure the chimp was really grateful for being taken out of its natural habitat, only to be killed for following its animal instincts.

The point is that people should not take a wild animal into their homes and expect it to act human. Looking around, I wonder more and more what separates us from the animals. Sometimes I think most animals are smarter than the idiots I encounter on a daily basis. The other sad fact is that no one thought to tell the chimp's owner that her behavior was abnormal; perhaps the victim could have spared the pain and suffering she now endures. Maybe for Christmas I'll get my daughter a polar bear; we have plenty of ice here and if it gets out of control, I'll just give it some of my Xanax.