Noooooooooooo

STAMFORD, Conn. — The family of a woman mauled by a chimpanzee filed a lawsuit seeking $50 million in damages against the primate's owner, saying she was negligent and reckless for lacking the ability to control "a wild animal with violent propensities."
Attorneys for Charla Nash, who remains in critical condition, filed the lawsuit against Sandra Herold late Monday in Superior Court in Stamford.
The suit also alleges that Herold had given the chimp medication that further upset the animal. Herold has made conflicting public statements about whether she gave Xanax, an anti-anxiety drug, to Travis on the day of the attack. The drug had not been prescribed for the animal, police said.
Herold knew the 200-pound chimp, Travis, was agitated when she asked Nash to come to her house on Feb. 16, the lawsuit said. The suit accuses Herold of negligence and recklessness for owning "a wild animal with violent propensities, even though she lacked sufficient skill, strength and/or experience to subdue the chimpanzee when necessary."

Now here's a surprise...a woman mauled by some lunatic's pet chimp is suing for 50 million bucks. We all knew it was coming, it was just a matter of time. However, in this case, I actually agree with this lawsuit. Many lawsuits filed these days are just plain stupid. People suing fast food chains because they're fat, prisoners suing for better shoes, people claiming they didn't know smoking was bad for them. All nonsense.

However, this woman who was attacked has lost various portions of her face, and her hands, because some fool decided to keep a chimp as a pet. Let's take a look at this situation, shall we?

1. Before we go any further, anyone who lives with a chimp is (all together now)...CRA-zy!

2. The chimp's owner lost her husband and her daughter within a few years and was obviously distraught. Perhaps a friend or relative could have suggested counseling or medication as an alternative to starting a zoo.

3. Perhaps a cat or dog...or another domesticated animal...would have made a better pet.

4. This woman ate and slept (EuWWWWW) with the chimp. Nuff said.

5. Wild animals do not belong in people's homes. This goes for anyone who owns a chimp, snake any bigger than a yardstick, ferrets, marmosets, kangaroos, or any other stupid thing people think of adopting.

6. Giving Xanax to a chimp is almost always a bad idea...unless he is seeing a psychiatrist.

7. A chimp is a wild animal, not a human being. This poor animal was killed because it did what an animal would do, not what a human would do. I am sure the chimp was really grateful for being taken out of its natural habitat, only to be killed for following its animal instincts.

The point is that people should not take a wild animal into their homes and expect it to act human. Looking around, I wonder more and more what separates us from the animals. Sometimes I think most animals are smarter than the idiots I encounter on a daily basis. The other sad fact is that no one thought to tell the chimp's owner that her behavior was abnormal; perhaps the victim could have spared the pain and suffering she now endures. Maybe for Christmas I'll get my daughter a polar bear; we have plenty of ice here and if it gets out of control, I'll just give it some of my Xanax.