Doubles-About 6 Months Late

Well here it is, the summer of 2011. I am sure you have all missed me terribly, as my last post was February. But last year I had this thing called a job, which interfered with my nap schedule, my blogging, and my ability to get a decent meal on the table. But, the money came in handy, and I enjoyed working again. I am hoping to return to work in the fall, but I am at the mercy of a school system's budget, so we shall see.

Anyway, 2 weeks ago I turned 44. For some reason, 44 sounds A LOT older than 43; this is especially true when one of your close friends is 28. This was one of those "double "birthdays, meaning there are two digits in my age that that are the same.

My first "double" was age 11. I don't really know what I was doing when I was 11. I was about to enter 6th grade. I think I was at that age where I was still a child inside, but was expected to display some form of maturity. I doubt I did. Eleven is one of those ages I just don't remember well.

My next double was 22. It was 1989 and I was working as an assistant to a Vice President of a publishing company in Manhattan. I had just graduated from college and was one of lucky few who had found a job. It was an economic climate much like that of today. Anyway, around that time the movie Working Girl was released. It was about a young woman from Staten Island who...well, worked as an assistant to a VP of a big company. In the movie Sigourney Weaver, the evil VP, gets injured and her assistant, played by Melanie Griffith, ends up running the company and somehow running away with Harrison Ford. Around that time, my VP went out on maternity leave...and while I didn't actually run the company or run away with Harrison Ford...I do admit sitting in her office, which overlooked Madison Square Garden, and dreaming of a more glamorous and wealthier life. I thought about going to business school, as she had done, to get my MBA. One look at the GRE exam, which is required to enter an MBA program, and my hopes were destroyed. I did terribly on it and then ran away to San Francisco.

On my next double, 33, I was married and living in CT. How this happened I'll never know. I moved to San Francisco when I was 24 and LOVED it there. After a series of not-so-good relationships, I finally met my husband Malcolm when we both worked for the same company. We got married in 1999 and decided in 2000 we wanted to be closer to family. In the meantime, I had gone back to school and earned a teaching credential, so now I was an elementary school teacher. We chose CT because it was between my parents on Staten Island and Malcolm's parents in Albany. It was purely accidental that we ended up in the small (population less than 10,000) town of Portland. However, I am happy we did. It's a lovely place. We have a very small house, but lots of land and central air conditioning, which, at the moment, is a blessing.

And now I am 44. The girl in the mirror has aged. She is a little chunkier than she used to be. She has to dye her hair and watch what she eats. I can't believe that my paternal grandfather died 30 years ago. I can't believe that I can say that I recall something that happened 3o years ago. But between 33 and 44 I received the greatest gift of my life, my daughter Ava. While she has many needs, and her medical status requites constant vigilance, I can honestly say she is the best thing that ever happened to me. Although her first years of life were nothing short of exhausting and terrifying, she has managed to overcome a lot and become a precious little 8-year old girl. She loves karate, music, dancing, her family, her home, and just life in general. She has taught me to be a better person. She has taught me that life is not about what you have, but how you appreciate what you have. She has taught me to be thankful, grateful, more patient, more compassionate, and more understanding. She can also challenge me mentally, physically, and emotionally than any other person I have ever known. She is a force to be reckoned with.

On my next double I will be 55. Part of me looks forward to this and part of me dreads it. I think I will follow Ava's example and go with the part that is looking forward to it. Hey that's all I can do! Cheers!