Trick or Crap

I don't recall when Halloween became a national holiday. It was always a cause for fun, but I don't ever remember it dominating the months of September and October. Don't get me wrong...as a kid, it was always a big deal. We would get a costume, either custom-made by Grandma Salamo, or bought from Kmart (or Masters) in a box with a clear cellophane top. The clear top allowed you to view the high-quality plastic mask inside, held tightly to your head by a thin rubber-band. The costume itself was large and flimsy, so it could be slipped easily over a winter coat, in a time before October brought 70-degree temperatures. We would try on the costumes at home and goof around. I think we had a few cardboard decorations; I think one was a skeleton that had metal fasteners at the limbs, so he could be bended different ways. We had a crepe paper pumpkin that you could open up into a sphere; the shape was held tight by a metal fastener. It then folded flat for storage. (I am sure my mother still has these in her attic.)
My recollection is that we would take these decorations out maybe a week - or two at the most - before Halloween and adorn our windows.It was fun and exciting. Halloween Day was fun too. I remember coming home from school and running into the house to put on our costumes. We would go Trick or Treating, up and down our street, exhausted mothers in tow, and get a huge bagful of candy. We would then go home around dinner time, spread out the candy on the livingroom floor, and trade. One Sugar Daddy (one of my personal favorites) for a Snickers. Two Starburst for a Chunky. We each got what we wanted and screamed if one of our poor parents wanted a taste of something. They were smart and waited until we were alsleep until they ate the candy. We ate the candy over a week or so, and moved on.
Today Halloween starts around August, right after the last Back-to-School notebook has been crammed into a side aisle at the store. Decorations, costumes, and all kinds of specially packaged candy are spilling out of the endcaps at every store imaginable by Labor Day. It's not just enough to have a costume and some candy. Oh noooooo....now, we must turn our house into a either a Horror Show or a Harvest Fair. The place must be decorated - inside and out - with various fall themes, complete with autumn-colored pillows, chachkis, blankets, candles, and novelty items. God forbid all you have is a pumpkin or two...that will never do! (Hey a rhyme!) The house must exude all that is autumn. Carefully planned Trick or Treat parties are a highlight of the day. No more going door-to-door; who knows "what evil lurks in the hearts of men." Halloween parties are contrived events, carefully coordinated by overprotective parents, to contain healthy snac ks, allergen-free goodies, hayrides, friendly scarecrows, and more crappy cheap toys than one can find at the Dollar Store.
I am not anti-Halloween; I am anti-excess, anti-stress, and anti-complicated. Put out a few decorations, get a simple costume, enjoy your candy and enjoy the day, for God's sake. All I heard, all friggin day, was how people "couldn't wait for Halloween to be over." Is this fun? I don't think so. A simple holiday shouldn't cause stress, cost a fortune, or promise to "fulfull everyone's dreams of a perfect day." It is what it is; parents with too much time on their hands shouldn't push their overrated ideas of perfection onto their children. They should allow them to be children and do what they want to do. After all, now that Halloween is over, everyone will be preparing for the perfect Christmas, and waiting for that to be "over with" so they can move onto the excess of Valentine's Day. Harumph.